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For some of us, visiting a friend who
has dementia is difficult to do. In Jesus’ parable of
the Good Samaritan, the Good Samaritan dressed the
wounds of the man beaten and lying by the side of the
road. That was hard to do, too, but at least the need
was pretty obvious. If someone we know is afflicted with
dementia, we might not be as certain how to meet this
neighbor’s needs.
Many of us are already being good
neighbors to someone afflicted with dementia. By
visiting them with a sensitive and loving heart, we are
following in our Savior’s footsteps. Still, some of us
might have questions in our minds about how best to make
a visit. Chapter 6 of the American Association of
Retired Persons book Caring for Your Parents is titled
“The Brain.” This chapter contains some helpful
insights. Here are some ideas either directly from, or
based upon, pages 112 through 118 of the 2008 edition of
Caring for Your Parents.
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Information on the person from
relatives or staff may help someone know more how to
make a visit.
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Noise is a stressor. It would
follow that the more peaceful and calm the setting,
the better.
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Since it is hard for someone with
dementia to concentrate, it seems logical to ask
permission to turn off the radio or TV.
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Familiar melodies can trigger
lost memories and feelings. This would support
playing a worship service recorded at the person’s
home congregation.
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The effect of touching varies
greatly and should be done after permission is
granted.
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With decreased ability to taste
and smell, someone with dementia may respond to
brewing coffee, fresh baked goods, or a fragrant
plant.
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A visit late in the day may not
be the best time because symptoms often get worse in
the evening.
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Depending on the situation,
communication can be aided with the use of labels. A
friend might make and wear a label of their name. A
pastor might write a short prayer in large letters
that would be both spoken by the pastor and read by
the resident.
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Someone with dementia is trying
to understand what is going on around them. A
visitor is helpful by “being calm, patient, not
being argumentative, and not taking odd behavior
personally.” To approach our neighbor beaten and
bloody by the side of the road certainly would be
intimidating. Visiting someone suffering from
dementia also might be intimidating. Hopefully, the
above information will make us a little more sure
about helping our neighbor who is afflicted with
dementia.
Submitted by
Dennis Angland
pastoral adviser to the Iowa District West Older Adult
Ministry Committee |
